When God Closes a door...

"When God closes a door...look for a window." Seriously, this was a Contemporary Christian song when I was growing up and it just almost elicits a gag on the trite cliche' when I think about it. Of course there is also the tried but true: "When God closes one door, He will open another." (Oh, please don't.) What is bad about these kinds of sayings that people just blurt out when someone has a huge disappointment or is going through a really rough moment is that it does absolutely nothing to help them other than cause more frustration. When you are on the receiving end of these cliches you are most likely in a place of waiting, in a place of stretching and confusion and a place of not having a clue what to do next; a place where you do not want to hear some trite cliche' spoken by a well-meaning friend.

However one day I heard a speaker say this with a new twist and man did it hit home!

"When God closes one door, He will open another, but sometimes, it is hell in the hallway."

I wish I could remember exactly who I heard say this, because to me it is genius! I laughed out loud and had a huge connection immediately, for I had been in the "hallway" for quite a while! The more I thought this over, the more God revealed to me all the aspects the hallway entails. The hallway is where the battles are won or lost. The hallway is where trust is built. The hallway is where God speaks directly to our heart. The hallway is where faith is birthed and obedience is decided; in the hallway; the battleground of our heart. You see it is easy to trust God when you understand the direction things are going. It is easy to trust when things are going just like you anticipated. True faith and trust happens when we are faced with uncertainty and confusion and disappointment but we know that God is in control and we are just charged with following His lead regardless of what appears to be the situation.

And just to be completely clear, the hallway is NOT a fun place to be; not even a little bit. Don't get me wrong, we can choose to be joyous in the hallway because we know our God is in control and loves us, but that doesn't make the hallway a fun place to be. I mean, think about your house. If you were asked to pick the most fun room of the house, the hallway definitely would not be it! No one really wants to go to the hallway, it just sort of happens. It is the connection (get this) between rooms; from one door to the next. (See that amazing parallel there?) 

I remember one time when we lived in an older pier and beam house and my husband, Trey, was a firefighter. One summer day (maybe late Spring), there was a late afternoon storm coming in and it looked to be a big one. We live in North Central Texas, so storms can become pretty scary really fast. This storm came in fast and hard and started flooding some areas in our town so Trey left to go help the fire department and sheriff's department put out barricades to keep people safe from the flash flooding. The girls were fairly young at the time. Amanda was probably in 2nd grade and Kaitlyn in Middle School and neither were very fond of storms. 

Not long after Trey left, the skies turned eerily grayish and tornado sirens started going off around us. Our house was one of those old houses where you go from one room to the next in a big circle but there was small hallway in the middle and it was the only spot that wasn't on the outside of the house and the only spot without windows. (both things to look for when you need a safe place in a tornado) So I hastily grabbed my daughters, our two dogs, (a rambunctious lab puppy named Liberty and a little spastic weenie dog named Ginger), closed  all the doors to the connecting rooms and grabbed pillows and blankets to sit on since it was old hardwood flooring. The girls grabbed their favorite stuffed animals and despite the sweltering heat, blankets. Almost immediately Trey called me, out of breath and yelling over wind and rain, to make sure we were safe and in the hallway and to assure me that he would call when it was safe to come out. Now I really want you to chew on that thought for a few moments and we will come back to it: safe in the hallway.

Since I am such a visual learner, I want to give you a little mind picture of what was happening at little 505 Brown Street. The hallway itself is no more than 4 feet wide and about 15 feet long maybe. There is one door on the end that we have closed (these are the old doors with glass knobs and skeleton keyholes) that leads to the girls' rooms. There is another door on the opposing end that is also closed that leads to our bedroom and a door in the middle back wall that leads to the bathroom. the fourth side had a door opening, but no actual door so I had one of the girls' twin mattresses propped up there. There were no vents in this hallway, so it was stuffy and with two wide-eyed young girls and two dogs who had no clue what was going on, it was a little chaotic. Soon the electricity went out so it grew even hotter and very uncomfortable. We were sweating and trying to convince Liberty to not jump over the mattress and Ginger to quit her pacing and whining. 

Apparently more than one funnel had appeared in various locations near us around this time so the sirens seemed to keep going off. I was worried, but also frustrated with trying to keep my girls calm and the dogs contained and my sanity intact! I put on that mom mask of calmness and fun in the face of things that are described by neither of those words and we sang, I ran and got coloring books and colors and things like that. As more time passed, I grew impatient as we had not heard an "all-clear" from Trey yet. I began to sneak out of the hallway to see if I could see anything that would tell me if we could come out or not. I would insist that the girls stay there and I would go watch the news station on the TV or even venture to take a look outside and then quickly return to them. The girls, succumbing to the heat and uncomfortable conditions began complaining that they didn't want to stay in the hallway or that the dogs didn't want to be in there and we should just let them out. I don't remember how long we stayed there for sure but my guess is that it was around an hour. Trey called and said there had been a couple of small funnels that didn't seem to do much damage and that the main part of the storm had passed. Thankfully, we were all safe, albeit a little sweaty and cranky, but safe and sound and we began putting the weird collection of things that we had in the hallway with us back in their rightful places. 

This memory came back to me when I thought about the hallways of life. Like I said before, the hallway is not a fun place to be, but it is a vital part of the house. Without the hallway, you couldn't easily move from room to room. Some houses have big hallways and some are small; so it is with life. When we go from one stage or moment where things really seem to be moving along nicely and then suddenly there is a change; likely a change we didn't expect or want or like. Often it is a change that we have little or no control over and that makes it a little scary; tornado-like. This is when we are placed in the hallway. This is when we are learning to trust. This is when it sometimes gets hot and uncomfortable and we try our best to sneak out and see if we can "fix" it. But this, this hallway, this is where we are safe. In fact, sometimes, being in the hallway, isn't even about us. I was doing my best as a mom to keep my two girls and two dogs as safe as possible. Maybe your hallway is more about keeping someone else safe or more of a battle for their heart and trust than your own. 

I wasn't the most obedient wife in that hallway. I snuck out, checked things out; tried to see if I could return the situation to normal. As Christians, how often do we do that with God? When He has us in this waiting state, in a hallway of life, asking for us to simply trust. In fact often He doesn't give us so much as a glimpse of what we are trusting for other than the heart knowledge that He loves us and works for our good; we are just to trust Him.  Instead, we try to sneak out of the hallway of life by figuring out how to fix things ourselves, as if we are able to do a better job than our Lord. We sneak out simply because we are tired of being hot and uncomfortable and dealing with the conditions of the hallway and even more because we do not want to be mature enough to be the adult in the hallway. Thank goodness there was not a tornado about to rip through my house at the very moment I chose to step out of the hallway and check. How selfish, silly and immature of me to leave my children to check. We knew that someone who loved us very much would call and let us know when it was safe, but that was not good enough in the midst of the discomfort. What a slap in the face to my loving husband that act was. How many more times and how much more must it be a slap in the face to our God when we try to fix things and all he wants is for us to be still, be safe, and to grow in maturity and trust in him. 

So if you find yourself in the hallway of life, take heart! Eventually the storm will be over. I do not know if yours is a long hallway or a short hallway. I do know that you will probably face some uncomfortable things, you will probably feel isolated and it may get a little hot in there as God tries to teach you things for your next open door event. I do know that hallways are necessary and that often they are for the safety of you or someone else. They might even be a battleground for the heart of someone else. How you handle yourself in the hallway speaks more than how you handle yourself in any successful open-door moment. God will not give you that moment until He is ready for you to walk through it, (notice I didn't say until we are ready for it, because usually we are never truly ready), but that next door might be one that rocks your world more than any storm ever could. God's ultimate agenda is to further His Kingdom of believers and to use His children to do so. He wants to use you as soon as that door opens, but you have to be able to handle a little hallway chaos first!

Hebrews 11:1 " Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

Isaiah 40:30-31 "Even youth grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Romans 5:3-5 " We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us , because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given to us."

Blessed more than I deserve,

Stephanie
srieper89@gmail.com
https://www.facebook.com/heartiscrossed

Real Power Steering

As I was driving to a friend's house the other day, God spoke to me through my Nissan Rogue. Weird, I know. You see, my car has this little (and somewhat annoying) feature that gives me a staccato of three beeps when my vehicle veers too close to a lane line on the road. It is a safety feature designed to counteract the phenomenon that you steer where you stare.

On this particular day, I noticed a beautiful hawk to my right gliding on air currents and for a second, I looked that direction. My awe at this majestic creature was interrupted by "beep...beep...beep" and I looked forward to see that I was close to the shoulder line of the road.  Why? Because you steer where you stare. 

In that moment, God stirred my heart to write again and so I'm sharing with you. (Yes, God can even work through Nissan and vehicle safety technology.)

Let's start with this: 

Matthew 22:37-38

You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.

All your heart: desires, wishes, dreams

All your soul: entire being, involuntary reflex of loving him

All your mind: thoughts, ideas, plans

I want to talk to you a little bit about two things. Your heart and your mind.

 If you are a believer, a sister in Christ, your soul is spoken for. And while maybe you don’t feel you have reached that faith moment where you love Him with all your soul, I believe that battleground has been determined by an acceptance of Jesus into your life. That war has been won and you are His daughter. Which means that the devil cannot touch your soul once you are His. He cannot change that outcome.

 What he can do, unfortunately, is battle for your heart and/or mind to ensure you are ineffective in the Kingdom and distracted from your Savior. This is where we must be diligent, because you steer where you stare. 

We are women, an amazing sisterhood even, of women who are also daughters of an amazing King, and yet often it doesn’t really feel that way. Why? 

•Mean Girls isn't just a movie and isn't just relegated to adolescents.

•Insecurities are very real and one of Satan's easiest tools of distraction

•Social Media shows only the great parts of other's lives, not the unfolded laundry in the corner, just out of sight

•We live in a society that thrives on exhaustion. We are tired, as moms, wives, sisters, coworkers, bosses, friends. We are so tired. 

Think for a moment about your biggest desires on any given day. What things do you find yourself saying in the mirror “I wish…” What plans or goals do you have written in a journal or taped to the wall or swimming in your mind? What would you say, in the last 2 months, has been your biggest disappointment? Do you still think about how to fix it, change it or wish it had not happened? What do you see in others that somehow makes you feel like a failure in yourself? 

Is it the scale? The jeans size? The car you drive? The promotion you deserve? The tantrum your kid won’t quit throwing? The flippant remark from a friend? The house you live in? Your education level? The number of friends you have? Or want to have? Your marriage? The dust on the ceiling fan blades or basket of unmated socks? A loss of friendship, marriage, love, job? 

These things, sisters, are our hearts and minds.

 Comparison is the thief of joy and a powerful tool of the enemy. The battlefield is your heart and your mind. And if, just if, we can literally wrap our brains around this, God will grant us a gift that is greater than any single one of those things your mind conjured. A gift that we cannot compare to anything, and honestly, we will never understand fully until we experience it. Even then, it is incomprehensible.

Here’s the gift: 

Philippians 4:6-7

Don’t worry about anything. Instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. 

I am sure you are thinking, sure sounds easy enough.  But you don’t really get it, especially that first part. Then you start to remember all the things you need your heart and mind guarded from and *poof* you are back to where you started!

If you are staring at the past, you'll never fully step into your God-designed future.

If you are fixated on the hurt, you will never fully heal.

If you are steadily dwelling on your mistakes or perceived failures, you'll miss the power steering of your Savior and forget that He works through your weaknesses.

You will steer where you stare...every single time.

So let's think back to driving a car for a second. How many of you took driver's ed as a teenager? 

When I took driver’s ed, my teacher was also my pastor’s wife and my mom’s best friend. I loved Mrs. Jana then and still do. One thing I remember is that every single driving session, we had to drive three places: the bank to make her deposit for the week, the Whataburger to get her diet coke and by her house so she could run in and get her Milky Way candy bar, because drinking a diet coke would balance out the candy bar calories. I love that woman! One other thing I remember is her insistence that we put our hands “at 10 and 2” on the steering wheel.  Now, true confession, I don’t really drive with my hands at 10 and 2. In fact I tend to drive with my left hand at the 1-ish position and lean on my arm on the console.But there is a reason why driving school insists on the 10 and 2 hand positions. 

Because we steer where we stare. 

If our hands are in the 10 and  2 position, we are naturally squared up and if we zone out or are not focused for whatever reason, we are more prone to continue driving straight ahead. Why?  Because we are naturally staring forward; because we steer where we stare.

The way I naturally drive, is likely not as safe. If I zone out, I will naturally veer to the right because my body is turned slightly that direction. 

Looking at a different perspective of this idea, my husband was a firefighter for many years and often he will talk about some the scariest moments he had. Weirdly enough, most were not fire related, but vehicle related.

 He worked many wrecks on a major highway in the area that his station served.  There were many close calls that nearly cost the emergency responders dearly because drivers were looking at the wreck and therefore veered towards the wreck unintentionally. 

We steer where we stare.

And sister, let me tell you, it is not just in driving, it is in our hearts and minds as well!

 In the verses above from Philippians, it says do not worry about anything and to pray instead and then you will have peace. Why? (Say it out loud with me) 

Because we steer where we stare! 

If we are staring into the arms of Jesus instead of directing our focus on what Satan wants to distract us with, then we will find peace because He is our peace. 

And as Paul continues, he is very specific about how to change our focus. He says:

Philippians 4:8,9b

And now, Dear brothers <and sisters>, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. … Then the God of peace will be with you. 

We tend to hold tightly to things that are none of these. So I want you to think about one or two things that you are struggling to release to God. These are currently the very things Satan is using as a battlefield for your heart and mind. 

Make two tight fists and hold them up in front of you.

This is what you are holding tightly to you and struggling to give to God.

This is what is monopolizing your mind and heart right now. 

Are you ready to put Paul's instructions into practice? As you read the following, we are going to count off the ways to change the direction our hearts and minds are steering; we are going to purposefully stare in a different direction. 

If, you are ready, hold those fists out and...

Sisters, fix your thoughts on what is:

True (open one finger on your right fist...#1)

Honorable (open another finger on your right fist...#2)

Right (open a third finger on your right fist...#3)  It is difficult to hold tightly to something with only your pinky and thumb) 

Pure (lift your pinky on your right fist...#4)

Lovely(open your entire right hand) Give Him what you were clinging to in that fist.

Admirable (lift your first finger on your left hand...#1)

Excellent (lift your second finger on your left hand...#2)

Worthy (lift your third finger on your left hand...#3)

  of (lift that pinky finger!)

Praise! (Open your entire left fist!) 

GIVE IT TO HIM! 

And just like that, you have released those things to Him and then the God of peace will be with you. Now, the trick is to remember this everytime you start to veer off into that battle of your heart and mind. Make this little exercise your three beeps to center yourself again and again. It is your Spiritual safety measure to ensure you stare into the face, and peace, of Jesus. Your life will steer where you've fixed your gaze. There's an old hymn that was Brother Eddie (Mrs. Jana's husband) favorite that says this beautifully. 

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace." 

Why? 

Because we steer where we stare. 

What are you staring at today? Is it true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent,  and worthy of praise? If not, use a little power steering and fix your gaze on those things and He will give you peace. 

Blessed more than I deserve, 

Stephanie 

Who Me?

Again, it has been much too long since I have written. God and I have been talking a lot lately about that. For several years now, I have felt God's call in my life to speak into the lives of other women, to share my experiences and hurts and how God has used those hurts to grow me and give me wisdom. More specifically I am being led to more deeply study the Bible and to encourage other women to do the same. 

I have a strong desire to be used by God to help women in general. Most recently, it has been laid on my heart to write a Bible study and hopefully to lead a group of women to study it with me. I am terrified of such an endeavor; utterly terrified. I have told God as much, but He is not letting me off that easily. You see God has this way of stretching us to step out of our comfort zone, out of our "success is assured" zone that we love to live in, and asks our obedience to step into the "they will think I am crazy" or "this will never work" zone. I know that is how He works. I know that He has done this throughout the Bible as well as throughout my own lif; I have been there before. And yet, I still balk at this idea. In fact just a few nights ago, I was wide awake, unable to sleep, and was talking to Him about my fears. I even posted to Facebook a little glimpse of our conversation. 

Here is the facebook post from that night:

Stephanie Spriggs Rieper

July 17 at 12:21am · 

My fear: " But what if I put myself out there and not a single person responds?"
His answer:" I'm not concerned about their response, I'm concerned about yours; do you trust me?"

‪#‎latenighttalkswithGod‬ ‪#‎faithoverfear‬ ‪#‎trustwithoutborders‬

God was pretty clear with me that night, and every other time I have given my sad excuses for being afraid: "Do you trust me?" is pretty much what I hear repeatedly in return. That night, one of my favorite worship songs, Oceans, played in my mind and I knew that I have yet to learn how to truly trust without borders. (My favorite line of the song is: "Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me, you've never failed and you won't start now." )

Oceans (Hillsong United)

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

Here's a little insight to how our conversation went that night: 

God: " I want you to write a Bible study for women and lead them in it."

Me: "What? I don't know how to write a Bible study!"

God: "I breathed the entire Word into being, you don't need to know how. Do you trust me?"

Me: "I am not a Bible scholar. I haven't gone to seminary. I have no credentials to write a Bible study. I am not a minister. I am not even good at being consistent in my own Bible       study!"

God:"Yes I know. You will have to be more dedicated to my Word than you are right now. Do you trust me?"

Me: " What am I supposed to write about? I don't even know where to start!"

God: "I want you to write a study. Pick something. It is all mine; there isn't a wrong choice.   Do you trust me?"

Me: (then to the real issue - my insecurities) " But God, what if I put myself out there; really pour out my heart and soul and work to get this done and not a single woman responds to me...um I mean it? What if my 'Bible study' is ridiculed and no one wants me to lead them in it?" 

God: "I am not really worried about how other people respond, I want you to be obedient. Do you trust me?" 

At that point I realized how silly I was being. God never uses the obvious ones, he uses the obedient ones.(David, Noah, Esther, Joseph, Paul, Zaccheus, Timothy and so many more!) So, I am taking a giant breath, and I am writing a Bible study for women. I chose Ephesians. I am praying daily and fervently that God will use me and this study to allow me to lead a group of women. I am hoping to either do a ladies' retreat or lead a weekly group, but we will see where God leads. 

The first day I started studying, God gave me a little reassurance through my back porch. You see, we have a squirrel feeder and two bird feeders on our covered back porch and I love watching the birds and the squirrels. I have wanted a hummingbird feeder for a while so my sweet husband, Trey, put one up for me as a surprise about 3 weeks ago. The second day it was up, I posted a status about watching the birds and wishing and waiting for my first hummingbird, but had not seen one yet. Not 10 minutes later, God sent a little hummingbird to see me! I didn't get a picture because those little dudes are lightning quick, but I knew it was from Him. I was pretty excited because I know that once one hummingbird found the feeder, others would not be far behind.

 I watch the birds and squirrels every morning, every afternoon and every evening; pretty much any time I am in the kitchen because we have big glass sliding doors to the porch. It has been 3 weeks and that one solitary hummingbird has been it; not another visit. Every single day, I usually comment about how I hope to see more hummingbirds and they have not yet appeared. 

Then I began studying and sitting every morning at the kitchen table, reading the Word, studying and glancing now and again out the windows in hopes of my elusive beautiful tiny bird; still nothing. God used their absence to speak to me. One day I looked out in dissappointment that the red liquid in the hummingbird feeder had not diminished at all and God said in response to my disappointment: "You've only had one hummingbird respond to your feeder. Do you wish you'd never put it out? Do you want to take it down and throw it away?" Of course I thought, " No! I did have one pretty little hummingbird; surely there will be more! We just need to wait a little longer." I am pretty sure God, my Father, smiled. "Exactly, Stephanie. You are only responsible to fill it up with the beautiful, bright food, and then let them respond. Even if only one responds, it is worth it to me; it should be worth it to you too." 

Interestingly, my younger sister visited for a week recently and guess what she is doing. She is writing a Bible study and getting prepared to lead a ladies' retreat at her church. I felt a teeny tinge of jealousy, but not in a really bad way. I am so proud of her and was aggravated at myself that she obeyed way before I did. The irony is not lost to me that I even remotely felt jealous about her doing something I am terrified to do and it solidified the desire to obey and do what I've been led to do by God. I am sure God intentionally used her obedience to spur me to my own. 

So I am requesting your prayers in this endeavor. I have no idea what I am doing and I am not the most knowledgeable or obvious person to be doing this; I just desire to be obedient. My heart wants to use it to lead a ladies' retreat or use the study in my Wednesday night Bible study eventually. Maybe even my obedience will spur someone else to their own.

 I also want to remind you all that God wants to use the least obvious people sometimes so that the glory is all His. I am so excited now (still terrified, but excited) and Ephesians is really speaking to my heart despite it being a book that I have studied before. If God has been speaking to you to do something, take a breath with me and let's do this together!  I am praying that faith will overcome fear for all of us. I pray that somehow my life experiences and any tiny amounts of wisdom that God has bestowed on me will somehow help another woman in her journey.  

When I feel the fear creep in, I will recite this verse: 

                Psalm 31:14 " But I trust in you Lord; I say, "You are my God!"

And when I hear the voices of my insecurities telling me that I am not worthy, I am not qualified and I am not the right person to be doing this, I will remember this verse and the words of my Lord:

1 Peter 4:11 If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

Who's with me? Do you trust Him?

Blessed more than I deserve,

Stephanie