When We Walk With the Lord...

I am not a runner. One look at the only pair of athletic shoes I have owned in the last 10 years should be enough to convince you of that statement as fact. Just in case though, I will repeat myself: I am not a runner.  Maybe I could be a runner or even should be a runner, but even when I was much thinner, pre-mommyhood, I have never really enjoyed running. That being said, I know a lot of runners. My sister-in-law loves to run and was recently lamenting over being sidelined due to an injury. My brother-in-law also runs "just for fun," a concept I have never quite grasped.  A friend I used to teach with would go to a math conference and stop along the way for a "scenic run" at some random location. (which I never understood) A friend from high school even has a facebook page all about running with her. I often joke that I will run in two scenarios: 1) if my child is hurt or needs me, I will become the Flash and 2) if I am being chased by something or someone incredibly terrifying with a weapon of mass destruction. Other than that, I am not a runner.

From the outside looking in, I envision running as a very personal time; a reflective time. Most people I know who run spend an inordinate amount of time getting their shoes just right, adjusting all the supportive gear and then setting the distance counter and getting the music ready. They usually pop in the headphones, look off into the distance with determined focus, and take off on a self-reflective, internal journey that is as equally about solitude as it is about being physically fit. They seem so focused on the run and not so much on whatever is around them. This seems to be especially true if they are in some sort of race or event.

Now walking, walking is different. Walking I can do! When people go walking, they often go together in pairs or groups and it is much different; more communal.  Even when people run "together" they really don't seem to do much talking, it appears to be more about a pace or an end goal. (Let's be real honest here, if I tried to talk while running, I would likely get a word in every six or seven huffing breaths and sound like Tarzan having a heart attack!) Now if you are a runner, and I am way off, please don't chastise me- this is just my take looking from the outside. When I try to pinpoint the difference between walking and running, I immediately have this idea or feeling that walking is more intimately connected with someone else where running is more introspective.

Maybe that is why there are so many old school gospel songs about walking with God. Being a music lover, I am also one of those weird people that will hear a phrase or see something and immediately the line to a random song pops out of my mouth. I've even been known to rewrite the lyrics in a goofy way to fit a certain circumstance, much to my daughter's embarrassment. Several popped into my head while contemplating the idea of walking with God.

"Just a closer walk with thee....grant it Jesus is my plea...daily walking close to thee...let it be dear Lord, let it be." 

" When we walk with the Lord, in the light of His Word, what a glory He sheds on our way..."

Or my very favorite (in Anne Murray's silky voice):

" ...and He walks with me and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own, and the love we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known."

I have sang many times in the past for various churches and at different events and one song that I used to love to sing was based on the scripture Isaiah 40:31.

" But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will mount up with wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31 (NIV)

During the intro to the song, I would always quote this scripture so that the people hearing me sing would know where the song originated. Something about the way the verse read, however, always seemed strange to me. Why would someone only grow weary when they were running but would faint from walking? Why would walking even be listed with flying and running, which seem to be much more physical? Maybe I am just gifted with an incredibly strange mind, but this verse always struck me as oddly worded.

Fast forward to my current thoughts about walking versus running. In my time with the Lord today, I was given a little more insight about maybe why it is worded this way. It always seemed strange to me because I was thinking in the literal, physical sense and not in the spiritual heart sense of the scripture. In the Bible, there is verse after verse about walking with the Lord or in the light or by love and faith. Here are just a few:

Genesis 5:22, Genesis 6:9, Deuteronomy 10:12, Joshua 22:5, Jeremiah 7:23, Micah 6:8, 2Corinthians 6:16, Ephesians 5:2, John 8:12, John 11:9-10, Galatians 5:16, 1 John 1:6, 2 John 1:6, 3 John 1:3 and my favorite 3 John 1:4

 "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." 3 John 1:4 (NIV-emphasis mine)

If you take the time to look up and read these scriptures, you will see that "walking" is regularly used to describe our spiritual relationship with God and how we mete out this journey, so-to-speak, that is before us. Walking is used to intimate the connection we have to the Lord and by that connection in Him, the connection we have to one another. 

Likewise, there are also many scriptures that use the word "run" in them. Most are not metaphorical in their context until we get to Paul's writings of the New Testament. Paul used the terms "running the race" more than once to give the readers of his letters the visual concept of stretching, working and persevering for the sake of the gospel of Christ. Read for yourself the words of the apostle to those he cared deeply for and mentored:

1 Corinthians 9:24-26, Galatians 2:2, Galatians 5:7, Philippians 2:16, and Hebrews 12:1 (the author of Hebrews is unknown but thought by most to be the Apostle Paul)

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us" Hebrews 12:1 (NIV - emphasis mine)

Here is where my thoughts on Isaiah come to the forefront. If we look at the wording in Isaiah as a physical description of only growing weary while running, but growing completely faint from walking, the context is strange. However, if we switch gears and think spiritually, for me it shed a completely different light! What if "not growing weary" really means we will persevere spiritually in this race we are running; we won't give up or give in to entanglements of sin. We will retain a staunch focus on the end goal and become less aware of the struggles around us. If we place our hope (some versions say "trust" or "to wait on") we will be given the extra measure of grace and strength that allows us to continue to push through the tough times and the missteps and the drama that is here on this earth! Now that is something worth getting excited over! 

So what about that weird wording regarding walking and being faint? You may think I am silly, or that this should have been something a seasoned Christian would have realized a long time ago, but honestly, it just came to me today. I always took the verse in Isaiah to say that we will be able to handle life's ups and downs with God, which it does, but it is so much more intricately woven into scripture than just that simple concept. For a long time, the simplicity was enough for me, but I now crave a deeper understanding of the Word. 

In my reasoning, the wording " they will walk and not be faint..." is speaking completely about our hearts. God does not want our hearts to grow faint. His desire is that our heart beats strong and deliberately for him. He does not want us to grow bored with our relationship with him or to place it on the lower half of our "to do" list. He wants that relationship to grow and become stronger every minute of every day. He doesn't want the "flash in the pan" type of relationship with us. The scary part, for me at least, is that it is our responsibility to build the relationship between God and ourselves. He has already laid out everything and will always be standing there waiting, willing and ready to complete the work, but we have to determine to do the work. 

When Trey and I walk together, despite the main idea being to be healthier and in better shape, we usually hold hands, it is just natural for us. (Truth be told, we hold hands a lot and I love it!) Walking with my husband is very intimate, personal and enjoyable. It is not something I have to persevere at doing. It is a time, that afterwards, I feel more closely connected to my husband than before; more bonded. It is spending time together even for just a few minutes with no agenda, no list, no ulterior motive, no drama, no end goal other than to get back to the house, the starting point, together.

How much could we strengthen our connection to our Savior by simply walking with Him like that; even just once a day? I don't mean doing a lesson in your Bible study because you don't want the girl beside you on Wednesday night to see how blank your pages are. I don't mean going to God in desperate prayer because you need a situation to be settled or healing for a loved one. I don't even mean singing to a favorite praise song that comes on the radio. I don't mean reading the online devotional and skimming through the scriptures because you feel guilty if you don't. I am talking about a deliberate, planned, no agenda, no ulterior motive, no end goal other than to get back to our starting point, our first love, of our walk together.

 I think our walk would be much improved. I think our hearts would beat for our Savior loud and clear. I think our relationship with Him would improve. Don't get me wrong, I think we should still sing spontaneous praises to him. I think we should definitely bring him our heartfelt pleas for help and deliverance. I think we should do our Bible studies or devotions and if it is out of pure selfish desire to not look bad or from guilt, then I think God can use that time to speak to our hearts regardless. I am just saying that hanging out with God, talking to Him about everything, placing your hope and trust in Him,  holding His hand, that is when you will fall in love and your heart will not grow faint. 

So, I am challenging every person who reads this blog to try it for a month (30 days). Set a specific time and length of time to walk with God daily. It could be 5 minutes or an hour, whatever you decide. Choose something that is a bit scary, but at the same time not ridiculously out of reach. This is a time to grasp God's hand until it becomes natural. (The first time Trey and I ever held hands was pretty awkward, but now it is just the easiest, most natural thing for us to do.) You can have a devotional or several different ones, play some praise music, spend time in prayer or just quietly and earnestly listen for Him to show you something. I don't want to tell you what to study or read or pray about, because I am not an expert in all those things. I can only tell you that the scriptures are His intimate letter to you and if you've never read them at all, 1 John is a beautiful place to start. I love James, and the letters of Paul to the Colossians and to Timothy. Honestly there are so many places, but those are good starting places in my opinion. Just pick something and see what He says to your heart through it! I would love to hear how the 30 days are going and what you have learned along the way, so please leave me a comment occasionally! I am also committed to these 30 days, so I need your encouragement as well!

One last thing before I complete this post. If Trey and I don't take a walk one night, our love for each other doesn't immediately fall away. We just walk another time, another day; no huge dramatic guilt trip needed! Please do not beat yourself up to the point that you never step back on the path; that is counterproductive and nothing more than Satan's attempts to steal your testimony. Don't let him have the opportunity. Your testimony is the only thing he is after and he can only steal it if you hand it over. We have a duty to protect our relationships and the ultimate relationship of Savior to saved requires our utmost attention. 

So who is with me? 30 days starts now! Either comment below that you are determined to a daily walk this month or go to my facebook page and comment there. I want us to encourage and give accountability to one another! I will continue to try to post once a week whatever God lays on my heart. Thank you so much for your support and love!

Blessed more than I deserve,

Stephanie

srieper89@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/heartiscrossed

Going Nowhere Fast

Have you ever watched that show "Undercover Boss" ? It is one that I catch on occasion and I really like it. I will never forget the episode where the CEO of Waste Management, while undercover, was part of a team that cleaned port-a-potties. The gentleman that he rode with, Fred, was amazing to me. He whistled and sang and was probably the happiest outdoor toilet scrubber I have ever seen! He made sure that port-a-potty was spotless! Fred used a strange vacuum to clean out the nastiness and then had an array of cleaners and scrubbers to clean the little outhouse from top to bottom.  It was probably cleaner (I hate to admit this) than my own commode at home! On top of his incredible work ethic, he was joyful; not just happy, but sincerely joyful. The entire time he was vacuuming or scrubbing, Fred was smiling, cracking jokes, making the CEO laugh, and singing. He made the job seem so fun and when the cameras filmed the CEO's thoughts, he was amazed at how Fred took the most menial, nasty job possible and made it something that was so enjoyable and fun! If you would like to watch the trailer for this episode, I posted the link below.

That episode aired as a re-run sometime around the first part of the year. While I watched this man take cleaning a toilet so seriously and have so much fun with it, I immediately felt humbled. You see this last year as a ninth grade Algebra I teacher was one of the most difficult years in my career that I have ever had. I am ashamed to say I did not handle the difficulty with as much grace as I should have.

I worked incredibly hard in my life to become a teacher and truly love the ability to watch a student start to understand something that they have lost hope in. Algebra is hardly ever a class that students are excited to be placed in, and many feel that math is something they will never be able to master. My goal is to teach in such a way that my students see that they not only can do the math, but sometimes, if they aren't careful, they might actually have fun doing it!

This last school year, my school went through a crazy amount of change. Of course change is always difficult. What made the year most difficult for me was that people who had been in place that encouraged creativity in teaching and who fostered a family atmosphere in our school were replaced by those who wanted more "cookie cutter" teaching and frowned upon camaraderie between fellow teachers and employees. My teaching style was directly attacked often by my department leader and I spent much of my time defending methods that I knew from experience would get through to my students. Then to top it off, our team, people who had become my good friends, was specifically targeted and split up and moved to different campuses primarily because we are too loyal to one another and too supportive. The best way I can describe what happened this last year is that it was much like a hostile takeover in business. As a business move, it is smart to separate those who are fiercely loyal to one another and to a former employer because once removed from the group they are easier to control individually for newly placed management. It may be smart for business, but for me and my colleagues, it was devastating.

I was miserable and frustrated and spent much of my time working to hide that frustration from my students. I worried that my dissatisfaction with events and people I had no control over would transfer into my teaching. I worked incredibly hard to continue to give my students my all despite how I felt about things outside of my classroom. Unfortunately most of the people around me that I leaned on for support felt the same way I did. Dissatisfaction breeds dissatisfaction; anger breeds more anger. It became a vicious cycle of frustration, irritation and disappointment.

I debated leaving the district or at least looking for other teaching positions and I was so torn as to what to do. My daughter Amanda, who will be entering the 8th grade, has always said that she couldn't wait until she was at the same school where I taught and I was thinking of leaving a year before she had the chance. It was heart-wrenching.  I really did not want to leave. I graduated from the school where I teach and we live in the town where I teach so I feel really connected to this district. I love the students, many of whom are children of former classmates of mine. My fellow teachers and I had become incredibly close over the last few years; it was a lot like a second family. I even grew to appreciate some of the new administrators and began to form new relationships. Despite the good, there were certain people who seemed determined to control things in a very restrictive way and it was suffocating. I prayed and debated and struggled with direction. I went to my assistant principal at the time and even asked for a letter of recommendation. To my surprise she teared up and almost had me in tears! I told her I wasn't sure what I was going to do; that I was praying for God to lead me.

As I was trying to figure out what to do for the coming year, I was participating in a weekly ladies' Bible study over Esther by Beth Moore. One week I was just in a state of turmoil and I really wanted out of the whole situation, but at the same time, I felt like I would be letting my daughter down and cause a whole new set of problems with working in a different district. We will only have one vehicle this next school year and the logistics of getting everyone where they need to be everyday will be tough enough even with Trey and I both working in the same city. I cannot imagine how we would manage if I worked in another district. Amanda had also just made cheerleader so I knew that would also factor into our schedule pretty heavily.  All this was weighing heavy on my mind and heart as I went to Bible study that Wednesday night and BAM!  God hit me with His word. Here was the focus verse :

Esther 4: 14b

  " And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”

Immediately I was hit with the realization that this was being spoken directly to me. Isn't it amazing how alive God's word is so long after the original text was written? It was as if the verse said, " Stephanie, who knows but that you became a teacher here for such a time as this one?" I remember thinking, "What God? You really want me to stay? In this mess? All my friends are leaving and the people are mean and...and...and..." My head and my heart were in quite an argument with God. I sat there after the study and just felt deflated and yet at the same time resigned to obedience. I was being called to stay in a very difficult situation. The interesting thing about it though is that after I decided I would stay, I was much less emotional about losing my team and much less worried about facing people who wanted me to fit my teaching style into their preset mold. I even emailed my administrator, the same one who wrote me the sparkling recommendation letter, and told her that in studying Esther, God told me to stay put. Her response was priceless. "Well thank God for Esther!" was all her email said. (Ironically, since that time, this administrator has found work in another district.)

The following week, God solidified His call for me through a student. Every year, there are certain students that I seem to connect with usually while they are going through something outside of school. I tend to "mother" a little bit at school and really look at my students as similar to nieces and nephews" not quite as close to my heart as my own children, but pretty darn close. When I see students who have to face adult problems and often face them very alone, my heart breaks for them. This last year I had a student whose father was dying. This young man was not the easiest student for other teachers, but for me, he was really well behaved. I honestly had no idea his father was ill until late in the year. This young man was one of those students that you heard things he had done in other classes or you saw him in the hall acting out, but for me he was always polite, hard-working , and usually on task. The worst problem I ever had from him was he fell asleep once. I found out later that he lived alone with his father who was dying. His mother had several other children but this was the only one who lived with the dad. One day, out of the blue, he came up to my desk and asked, "Mrs. Rieper, do you know James 1:1?" I was so taken aback and at first probably just looked puzzled. So he repeated his question. Now, most students know I am active in my church, (many of them attend or have visited my local church) but I don't preach to my students or quote scripture in class or anything like that. However, since the student asked, I was able to legally answer him so I looked it up. Here is what I read to him:

James 1:1 

 James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ,

To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations:

Greetings.

The student shrugged his shoulders and walked off. Nothing that remarkable, right? But just wait...God had a bigger agenda. I glanced down at the following three verses:

James 1:2-4

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance  ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Let me tell you, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that those verses were meant for me, an Algebra teacher will do just fine. The student didn't even seem to want the verse he asked for and never asked me for another verse or anything Biblical. In fact I found out much later that he was not raised in church and only after his father passed he moved in with his mother and siblings began going to church and really searching out a better path for his life. He most likely had never read that scripture or even knew what it was about. Why would he ask me about it?  He ministered to me at a time when I needed to be reminded that God can use anyone to complete His plans; I need not worry because He was in control! I was just to be joyful and persevere! What a challenge in difficult situations! Yet at the same time, how liberating to know that God is so in control that a young, hurting man who did not even know Him as savior was the vessel for guidance for a child of God! Isn't that amazing?

So I had two unquestionable moments that I knew God was speaking directly to me; telling me the direction I needed to go.What direction was that? Nowhere. Stay put. God was telling me that He has a plan and for some reason I am needed to fulfill that plan right where I am. I know so often we want these kinds of answers; the kind that are undeniable. Ironically, God usually does tell us in an undeniable way. I think we just tend to brush past things and forget to really see and hear what He is trying to get through our thick heads! I had no choice but to either ignore my Lord and probably find myself in a more miserable situation or stay the course and obey the one who sees the whole picture! This time, I clung to Him and set myself to be obedient despite the emotions that tend to be overwhelming at times. I say "this time" because I cannot say that I have always followed Him so easily. Hopefully that means I am growing and becoming more mature in Christ; that is the goal anyway. I also found another verse that became my mantra at work on those days when other words kept wanting to escape my lips. I wrote it out and taped it to my computer monitor along with a sticky note that said "WHO KNOWS?". That verse is Colossians 3:23 and it gives me incredible focus.

Colossians 3:23
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters

This is the verse that makes me think of Fred from Undercover Boss. The verse says "whatever you do..." meaning even if you are cleaning toilets! Lucky for me, that is not my called profession right now, but what I am called to do is to teach and more importantly touch young people's lives. What a charge! I am so humbled that I have been selected to such an amazing opportunity! What I am doing when I teach these young students really has nothing to do with the people I work for. I am there to impact students, represent Christ, and hopefully teach them Algebra along the way. They don't know it, but I pray for them. Well some of them know it because I tell them, but most probably don't. When we take those dreaded state tests, I pray through my rosters, something a friend of mine used to do when we worked together. (I had never really thought about it until I saw her doing it and thought it was a wonderful idea.) When I am trying something new, I often pray that I will be clear and they will understand what I am trying to get across. I am not saying that I am this amazing Christian teacher, because I have such a long way to go, but I am learning how to become more and more Christlike even in my job.

 Being an educator, I am held to the laws that prohibit me from freely sharing the gospel to my classroom overtly, but my study of Esther taught me something pretty amazing about that also. Did you know that the entire book of Esther never, not once, mentions God? It doesn't refer to Him in any way, or to prayer even! It is a story of the deliverance of the Jews from annihilation but it never mentions that they are God's chosen people or that He rescued them. Yet, it is treated as though everyone who reads the story would just know that the hand of God is all over the story; it is a given. The closest Esther ever gets to mentioning God is when she calls for a fast, which traditionally was a period of intense prayer and abstinence from food or drink. Esther was in a position where her true identity as a Jew was not even known for a while and yet she managed to become a representative for them as well as for God. There is no doubt that she is following God as you read through the book, but His name never comes up! What a great way to describe my position as a teacher. I may not be able to mention His name, but I can sure do things that are unquestionably pointing His direction. My true boss is not a student, a parent, a department leader, a principal a superintendent or even the State Board of Education. My true master or boss is the Lord. When I take my eyes off of that truth, I usually start feeling irritated about situations at work that are out of my control. I have to work harder to remember the bigger picture as I do my job with all my heart. Since Jesus is a resident in my heart, then doing something with "all my heart" must include Him.

Undercover Boss never really told us that Fred is a Christian, but I like to think that the kind of joy he exhibited is impossible without Christ. This man lived out Colossians 3:23 in a way that inspires me to do the same. Who knows, maybe he was placed in that position to impact that CEO in a way that no one else could have?  I can hope that somehow I will have the enthusiasm, drive and unashamed joy in my job as Fred displayed while scrubbing the porta-potty! The main thing I must remember is that nothing I do is for a human master; absolutely nothing. So much more has changed even since I decided to follow the Lord's prompting and stay at my school. Much of it is not what I would classify as good, but I have a different perspective now and I realize that as long as I work with all my heart and keep Christ as the center of my focus, I can have a joy in my work despite the circumstances. My goal for the upcoming year is to look for the reason or reasons that God wanted me to stay. I need to do the best job I can as an Algebra teacher and as a Christian. I am also relieved, and Amanda is excited that it appears that I will be there when she comes through my school. It will take a lot of work on my part to not hold to the emotional reactions that I tend to have about situations and instead hang tight to the joy and direction God has given me. Who knows why I am supposed to stay, but I am so anxious to find out! I hope that I can stay focused and that when I do mess up and succumb to the emotions that I will see the verses on my computer screen or that someone or something will be sent my way to remind me that I am following the plan. I pray that you will be able to rest in his plan also. Who knows what is in store for you! Just that alone should spur us to excitement and joy!

Blessed more than I deserve,
Stephanie
srieper89@gmail.com
https://www.facebook.com/heartiscrossed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DK1J2pq0KZg