Feeding Kittens and Walking on Water

"Elvis" and the girls

"Dolly" and Amanda

About 3 years ago, our family took a vacation to Branson, Missouri. This, so far, is the only real family vacation out of the state that we have ever taken. It was a vacation full of so many fun times and memories that still make me smile. We visited a Titanic museum. We met "Elvis" and "Dolly" and they happened to be married to each other. We visited a classic car museum and made a trip to Silver Dollar City. The girls even rode down a giant hill in this huge hamster ball with water in it!  One of my favorite memories from that trip happened even before we ever made it to Branson and  it came to my mind the other day while I was driving to a friend's house.

Yes, my girls are inside with 15 gallons of water!

At the time, Amanda was 10 and Kaitlyn was 14. We drove to Missouri and I remember we left fairly early that morning. Trey made us some pigs-in-a-blanket to take with us for breakfast. (I know you are wondering  what that has to do with anything, but it is crucial to the story, trust me.) We actually did pretty well since we had left so early and the girls slept a lot of the way that morning. One stop we made at a Love's truck stop for gas and a potty break. Amanda was sound asleep and said she didn't need to get out, so the rest of us took turns stretching our legs and taking care of business.

While Trey was inside, I noticed this sweet little gray kitten by the entrance. Someone had given it a little bowl of water but of course it was meowing to every person who passed by. I thought we could spare a pig-in-a-blanket, so we gave it one to munch on. It was apparently very hungry as it scarfed the pig down in record time. Shortly, we all hopped back into the car and were back on our way to Missouri. Amanda never even budged; she loves her sleep.

Our next stop was somewhere in Arkansas for lunch at Arby's. We all got out, stretched and ordered lunch. It was really nice to sit and enjoy time together, just the four of us, as a family. While we were eating I told Amanda, "Hey, you missed it at the gas station when we stopped and you were asleep; there was this cute little kitten!" Amanda replied with the expected, "Aww." Then I said, " Yes, I even fed it a pig." Amanda's eyes grew wide with surprise and she had this amazed look on her face as she repeated, "YOU FED IT A PIG?" She was utterly astonished! We, well we were confused. So I said slowly, "Yes, I fed it a pig." all the time wondering what was going through her mind. As a matter of fact, Trey and Kaitlyn had also stopped eating for a few seconds and were studying Amanda's face for a sign of what the amazement was all about. So there we sat for a second or two, waiting for her to fill in the blanks for us.

Amanda on our road trip to Missouri (wow she has changed so much since then!)

Suddenly Amanda's expression changed from astonishment to puzzlement and she looked at me, tilted her head in that sweet, puzzled  puppy look and said, " Wait, what's 'feddit' ?" Once it registered with the rest of us that she thought the words 'fed' and 'it' were all one and had absolute no clue what I had subsequently done to the kitten or to the ill-fated mystery swine, we all shared quite a laugh. I am sure the rest of Arby's wondered what the crazy family from Texas found so funny in their Arkansas eatery. (You can write your own punchline here.) Once I had calmed my urge to begin laughing again and had explained that I had given the kitten a pig-in-a-blanket to eat, I was struck with the irony of her amazement. I laughingly said to my daughter, "What makes it more funny is that you were so shocked and surprised and yet you had no idea what 'feddit' was." She very quickly and earnestly replied, "Well, that's because I thought maybe you had mixed up your words and you meant to say you had petted a fig." Silence for a split second and then laughter erupts again. What else could we do? I have no explanation for Amanda's quick wit other than I think she gets it from my brother. Often, like this particular instance, she makes us laugh and smile without even trying. It is just one of the endearing things about my youngest daughter.

As I was driving the other day, this story came to mind and with it a strange new correlation. It was easy for me to recognize that God was giving me something specific to write about. I went home and looked up the scripture that God placed in my mind: Matthew 14:22-31. This is the well-known story of Jesus walking on water and then Peter taking a turn walking on the waves. Only this time as I read it, I thought of Peter a little differently. I sort of imagine Peter a little like Amanda.

Matthew 14:22-31

Jesus Walks on the Water
²² Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. ²³ After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, ²⁴ and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

²⁵ Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. ²⁶ When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

²⁷ But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

²⁸ “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

²⁹ “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. ³⁰ But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

³¹ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

I can almost picture Peter's face start out with excitement and even astonishment as he takes those first few steps, as though he was thinking,"Yes! He said I could!" Then suddenly he looks up at Jesus and says his own version of, "What's feddit?" resulting in a break in the childlike faith he had just embraced. He was wholeheartedly involved in the conversation between he and the Lord and had bought into the idea of walking on the water until the confusion set in and he thought, "What? Oh my gosh, what am I doing? This is impossible!"  His first jump out of the boat, his eagerness to show the Father his excitement oh so quickly turned to questions and doubt and with that he began to sink.

I know it is not an exact comparison, but the emotions and thought process I imagine are very similar. Amanda was bought completely into the amazing feat that I had 'feddit' a pig- whatever that was. She was so excited and beyond ready to hear all about it, and then she thought, "What in the world is my mom talking about? What's feddit?" I imagine the same series of expressions crossed Peter's face. I even wonder if a disciple or two chuckled at Peter's "mistake"? Of course we are endeared to our daughter through this story. Not just in spite of her error but because of it. How much more was God endeared to Peter that at least he was eager to jump from the boat to walk out to the Savior?

On the flip side, I also wonder how it is for God to hear that same question of doubt over and over from His children. He wants us to be so excited and astonished about what His plans are that we step out of the boat with no reservations. What I think He wants even more is for us to be able to push past those reservations when they do arise and continue to step out on faith. I don't think He gets too tired of hearing our doubts because as long as we bring them to God, then we are showing our faith in Him. I think what is more upsetting to our Savior is when we stop bringing our doubts to Him. We should never be afraid to let God know we are nervous or worried or even doubt. I mean, you do realize He already knows it, right? As long as we continue to bring our weaknesses to His feet, Christ will continue to use those weaknesses for His glory!

2 Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Sometimes it is working through the confusion that we learn the most. We usually learn more from mistakes than successes if we will work to see and correct the mistake (a little something that is true in my math class as well as life). Of course, God may chastise us a little like he did Peter in verse 31, but it is with the love of a Father. Reread verse 31 above. Doesn't it almost sound like Jesus is shaking his head and saying, "Silly Peter, you just watched me. Don't you know I will hold you up?" I know I have been in Peter's proverbial water shoes too many times to count. Thank goodness Christ has never given up on me. So many times I have started to step out on faith in excitement and astonishment only to look up and say my own insecure version of, "Wait, what's feddit?" Praise God that everyday I have the chance to step out again and my doubting of the past becomes mere stepping stones to water-walking of the future.

So what is your "feddit"? You know that thing that is so intriguing and exciting that God wants you to jump up and be involved in but as soon as you take a step or two you start to question your sanity. Whatever it is, don't be so stuck on it but use it to move forward for Christ! All he needs is your eager desire to follow His lead. Don't get so caught up in the whispers of doubt in your ear from the enemy. Stay focused on your Father's outstretched hand and you will be amazed at the things He will accomplish that you never could.

Blessed more than I deserve,

~Stephanie
srieper89@gmail.com
https://www.facebook.com/heartiscrossed

Perhaps...

I Samuel 14:6b "Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few. ”


So I started using a new smartphone app last week that is designed to help me memorize scripture. I Samuel 14:6b was the second scripture it "assigned" me. God imprinted it upon my heart in a mighty way, just so I would not forget the impact of His Word.To start this post, I am going to go back several months, just to give you an idea of what an amazing thing God has done for our family.

Over the last several years, my family has been hit hard financially. My husband went without work for two and a half years before finding work about a year ago. During this time, we used Trey's retirement from his previous career to live and open a business. In the last two years, our business failed, essentially losing all of the retirement fund. Our car was subsequently repossessed about a year ago and then our home was foreclosed upon less than a year ago. We have been so blessed during this trying time that our loving God has provided for us every single step of the way. We have a home and we both are now employed. We have two beautiful, healthy daughters who make us proud every day. Recently, the provisions of God's hand has been incredible and undeniable.

Our oldest daughter, Kaitlyn, just graduated from high school. Early in her senior year, she went to visit a few different colleges and of course was being inundated with mail asking her to consider colleges and universities across the nation. In the midst of all of this, she felt led to attend Baylor University in Waco, Texas. She was in fact, so determined to attend Baylor, that she did not even apply anywhere else and would not even look at other universities once she had visited and made her decision. Baylor, being a private, Christian university, is incredibly expensive and you could almost feel the level of stress rise in our house with just the thought of paying for her education. My husband, Trey and I talked about it, prayed about it and honestly we felt this was where she needed to attend. I remember looking at Kaitlyn and saying (the first time of many times), "If Baylor is where God wants you to go, then he is going to have to figure out the money. If he doesn't, you will be attending the local junior college, because we can't even begin to pay for Baylor." Kaitlyn understood, but was still determined and sent off her application.

Trey and I struggled with the idea that we knew this was a great school and our daughter's heart was set on attending there, but we knew we could not pay even a little bit of it. We usually have about $15-25 left each week when we are super careful about our money. The estimated cost of attending Baylor University for one year is currently $51,281! Yes I said $51,281!! Nearly $52,000 A YEAR! Talk about impossible! The amount took my breath away!

It wasn't long that Kaitlyn received her acceptance letter and we needed to send in a $250 deposit to start the process of her becoming a Baylor Bear. We didn't have it. Then we received a check from the electric company for $248 as a refund from our previous account on the house that had been foreclosed. Trey and I discussed it and thought we needed to take a true step of faith, so we used that money and I put the envelope with Kaitlyn's deposit in the mailbox. The mailman came by, taking the envelope and leaving one in its place from Baylor. Imagine our shock when she opened this letter, the very day we sent off our faith deposit and it was a notification to Kaitlyn that her grades and SAT scores had earned her a scholarship of $34,000 to be spread out over four years! It was our first sign that we were on the right track.

For the next several months, I just kept thinking and praying that God would figure out the rest of the money. We really were in no position to even pay for junior college. By April, she had received about $24,000 for the first year through the government and another scholarship from the university!  It was still a long way from $52,000, but it was starting to look a little better.

Trey, Kaitlyn and I attended Freshman Orientation at the beginning of June and it was there that I truly felt a peace that this campus, this University was where my daughter needed to be; it was where God wanted her to be. Every meeting we went to stressed the importance of God and faith and the school's desire to ensure students' spiritual well-being while they further their education. After all the fun parts of orientation, the last place we were sent was the financial aide office and cashier's office to discuss the bill and prepare us for our round of payments. We were still about $14,000 short for the first year. Our options were very limited, and the nice man in the financial aide office said we would need to make payments of about $2500 a month, starting with the first one due July 31st. We just nodded and said, "Okay, thank you." and left in a surreal state of wonder. I remember thinking, " I hope this all works out. How will I tell our daughter that she can't attend here?"  Then I quickly found my "faith button" and just prayed, "Ok, God, this one is all you!"

This is where we found ourselves last week. Enter the verse above. Notice the beginning of it:

"Perhaps the Lord will act on our behalf." summing up my feelings and thoughts completely! Perhaps: not a word very full of faith is it? And yet, I think God understands that completely and even honors it. I really thought He would figure it out, but in the back of my mind I worried that maybe it would not happen.
Then the second part of the verse hits me: " Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few." Did you catch that? NOTHING can hinder the Lord! A really wise man I know once told me "If God wants it to happen, there is nothing they (those humans that think they are in charge) can do about it...they cannot even say 'no'." The second part of the verse, "whether by many or by few." is also very significant. You see, Jonathan was going, with only his armor bearer, to face the Philistine army. He was watching for a sign that this was what God wanted him to do and if he saw that sign then the two of them would go and attack, by themselves. Jonathan was telling his armor bearer that it doesn't matter to God how big or small your enemy is, nor does it matter to him how big or how small you are. God can do great things with a few or with many. Conversely, He can defeat few or defeat many, it really is not significant to His ability to save.

This is the verse God sent to me via a smart phone app (of all things) the very week I needed to know that even though $52,000 was HUGE to me, to God it looks no different than $1. Our only option for the rest of Kaitlyn's funding was to get an alternative loan. However, obviously, our credit was not good enough to be accepted for a loan. It would have to be in Kaitlyn's name with a cosigner since she is just 17 still and does not have lines of credit established. It was what should be considered a long shot, but last week, it was approved. We are fully funded for the first year of our oldest daughter's college education at the institution of God's choosing, with the bill paid by His bank account. If God says it will happen, they can't say no. No more questions, no more arguments, and it should be no more worries. I hope that I have learned to understand this concept a little better. I have committed a new verse to memory that is a very powerful verse to know. Most importantly, our daughters were witness to the amazing way that God will provide for His children. That is a lesson they can hold onto in future difficult times. Praise to God our Father who loves us and takes care of us even when we are still saying 'perhaps' when he has already said 'YES.'

Blessed More Than I deserve,
Stephanie
srieper89@gmail.com
https://www.facebook.com/heartiscrossed